Caviar for your ears. Pinks reds blues purples bruises peaches plums. An evening out, a pearlescent sheen to finish the outfit, dangling from a hook off your lobe, like a fish hooked on a line or looped in plastic—a sheen like oil and water (prey, ensnared: pray).

Howdy, cowgirl! Shine up those boots and head to the farm or for a night out on the town. Sparkling in the sun, walking through the fields, the muck and mud of a beer-filled dancefloor. These lil fellas will bring a sparkle to your eye and a scoot to your boot. Whether the boots are noticed by friends (caught up in the glimmer of snakeskin and sterling silver) or caught in the galaxy eye of a Holstein-Friesian, the green grass, the blue skies, the dark den of the dance cave, will pale in comparison to the twinkle of your toes.

Trim your bush! This handbag requires 4 to 6 hours of sun everyday, low amounts of water—grows slowly. Make sure the climate conditions of where you are located will benefit this spectacular bag. Pairs well with gardening shears and denim overalls.

Just what is it that makes this campfire so different, so appealing? Throw some logs on the fire, curse a bit, use up all the saved newspaper, blow until your face turns red. Finally, the blaze is roaring, the marshmallows are out. Delicate pillowy spheres—marshmallow globules. A toast to the foray outdoors.

Where has the time gone? This is the year of the house plant. Here is a money tree, tenderly cared for, watered with precision, spoken to in soft tones, moistly, as the world outside rages. As if in some magical realism dream, gold bananas have sprouted, dropping to the ground of the apartment, tink tink tinkle. Pachira aquatica blooms in May, matures by June—the bananas are ripe enough to wear by July.

At home, I lean back on the couch, slip on my lemon custard sunnies, and stare up at the sun—its aura of plasma obscuring everything else from view—blinded and blissful (outside, fear wraps itself around the brick of my home). The smell of salt water, my hand wrapped around a Corona.

Bright and ethereal, a halo soars above outstretched hands, paws, and jaws. And the Lord said, he who can fetcheth this ring becometh a very good boy. Against the blue and clouds, it is effulgent, speeding, rotating through the air.

Translucent magenta petals catch the light and cradle their candy orange stamens. Instructions: water liberally (preferably with a can, flamingo-pink from beta-carotene and aqueous bacteria) and allow for maximum sun exposure. During the winter this accessory will lay dormant, and bloom again as the seasons change. Wearing this brooch will bring your outfit into the stratospheres of stardom, perennially.

Funfair popcorn, candy, and fried foods glisten in the heat. Who is the strongest, hitting the bell on the strongman game, who will throw up first on the rides? Shining brightly, tightly, floating above the crowd: candied honeydew green, guava pink. Stretchy material, pulled taut. Hand bags on hand lighter than candy floss. Hold my bag, I’m going on the Tilt-a-Whirl.